


Panic attack

by eliotandq



Category: The Magicians (TV)
Genre: Angst with a Happy Ending, M/M, Marriage Proposal, Panic Attacks, References to Depression
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-05-02
Updated: 2019-05-02
Packaged: 2020-02-16 05:19:05
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,069
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18684922
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/eliotandq/pseuds/eliotandq
Summary: Quentin asked Eliot to marry him, but Eliot fucking Waugh had panic attack and ran away. This time literally.





	Panic attack

**Author's Note:**

> A short fantasy of my fantasy. I hope you will like it! <3

Quentin was sitting on the couch in the living room. In the dark. Alone. He stared blankly at the wall opposite him, wondering what he had done wrong. In the kitchen on the table lay a peach pie, which should have been put to the celebration, but now Quentin was alone here.

 

_Quentin asked his question with a smile on his lips. He didn't expect the answer to be immediate, but now the silence was suspiciously long. He looked El in the eyes and stood up immediately._

_"Eliot? What's going on?" he asked anxiously, grabbing his shoulders. It was a pointless question because Quentin knew very well what was going on. Eliot fucking Waugh had a panic attack after he asked him to marry him._

_"Wait here and try to take a deep breath. I'll get a glass of water," he blurted and ran into the kitchen, taking the first glass and filling it with cold tap water. He returned to the living room where he had left Eliot alone. The problem was, he wasn't there now._

_"Eliot?!" he shouted to the apartment with signs of despair in his voice. Although Eliot didn't answer, but there was a slamming of the front door, which meant one thing. Eliot ran away. Again._

 

And Margo fucking Hanson lied to him. She said it was okay. She said Eliot loved him so much. She was so excited when Quentin told her he wanted to marry El.

 

_"Quentin Makepeace Coldwater, don't make fun of me!" she cried._

_"I'm not," he murmured with a small smile._

_"Holy shit! I can't believe it!" she said with a smile and hugged him tightly._

_"Do you think the time is right?" he whispered in her hair._

_"Don't be a depressive super nerd, Q! Eliot loves you with all his heart. Then to all that we have experienced you deserve your happiness. Since the monster's possession has passed for two years, you practically live together, you love each other, so why shouldn't you marry him?"_

_"Okay, I… Okay. You're right," he said, kissing her forehead._

 

That's it.

He sat here alone now. In the dark. And he stared at the fucking wall.

The funniest thing was that this wasn't even his house. He should go home. He knew he should, but somehow he couldn't force himself to get off the fucking couch. The cell phone on the table in front of him lit up, which meant that Margo had finally answered his message.

 

To Margo:

Is he okay?

 

From Margo:

Yeah, he is. But I'll make sure he suffers. I'm sorry, Q! Are you okay? Shouldn't I send Josh? Do you need something?

 

To Margo:

It doesn't matter now. I will be…

 

Quentin hid the cell phone in his pocket and took a deep breath. His own panic attack took hold of him, but he wasn't going to fall into it in this apartment. Finally he got out of the couch and went into the hall. This was very painful. Peaches and plums, motherfucker. He loved him so much, but Eliot ran away from him. Again. He couldn't live with the feeling that he would wake up one morning and Eliot wouldn't be next to him. If he couldn't have a serious relationship, then maybe they shouldn't be together.

He glanced once more at the empty apartment.

Then left.

***

One day passed.

Then two passed.

Then three passed.

And then?

Honestly, Quentin stopped counting. If Eliot couldn't speak for the first three days, then it was really over. Right? Maybe they didn't have any proof of concept. They only worked before because Eliot had nowhere to run. He had to stay with him because they were on quest to save magic.

That was sad.

Was Quentin really that naive? Forced he Eliot to have a relationship with him? Did he love him? Did he even like him? Did the memories of their alternative life mean otherwise to him? Did he pretend their relationship? Was he with him because after he got him back he didn't want to break Quentin's heart? Did he say that he would be in a relationship with him for a while and then he would end it?

There were so many questions. So many questions that devoured him. He was getting into a depressive episode. He knew it. He knew it and hated himself for it.

"Q?"

Oh, fuck no. This couldn't happen. He slowly raised his head and blinked a few times as if he didn't believe Eliot was standing in front of him. But he should have known, didn't he? There was their favorite cafe on this street. He should have known there was a risk that he would meet him here. Quentin turned his back to him because he couldn't feel his gaze and walked away. Okay, maybe it was childish, but do you wonder? He had a broken heart. Again.

"Q!" he said again and caught him in a few steps. He stood in front of him, making it impossible for him to continue his way. "Talk with me, please."

"And what could you possibly say, huh?" he asked sharply, trying to tear his tears. He won't definitely cry. Not in front of him.

"I'm so sorry!"

"Oh, guess what. You're late! It's like what? Week? It took you a fucking week to talk to me?! I can't do this right now. Can you kindly stand on the side so I can go home?"

"No, I couldn't. You weren't home when I came ba-"

"At home? Yeah, I was at home. What do you mean is that I wasn't in your apartment. You can send me stuff or burn it, I don't care."

"What does that mean? Are you breaking up with me?" he asked with panic.

"I hate to spoil you, but you're late for the party. You could have said no, we could have talked about it, but you ran away. Literally. Then I didn't hear about you for the week. I understood the signals."

"I didn't break up with you! I love you, Q. I just got a panic attack. And so scared! And when I'm scared-"

"You run away, there's no news. But why did you get so scared? I don't want to be in a relationship where my boyfriend is scared. It's not fair, not even one of us."

"I love you..."

"But is it enough, El?" he asked, and finally walked around him and set off on his way home.

***

"Wow, you look awful," Margo said as he finally opened the door for her.

"Thank you, I like to see you, too," he said sarcastically, and went to the kitchen to prepare coffee for them.

"No offense, Q, you look worse than Eliot. He feels really bad, you know?" she murmured as she sat down at the table and watched her friend prepare coffee. He was terribly skinny, and it scared her. She knew him. And she knew him well. And this wasn't right. Pale skin, circles under eyes, unwashed hair. He had a depressive episode. She should have known. She was supposed to find time for him before, but instead she believed his words that he was okay.

"Yeah, I don't feel the best way, either," he said, pouring warm water into the mugs.

"Why don't you talk to him? Will you really leave it like that?"

"I know he's your soulmate and you don't want to see him broken, but he broke my heart, Margo. It must be said for the second time," he snapped.

"I don't want to see you broken too, know you? I love you, Q. I know I'm not saying it often. I believed you had something real with Eliot. I just... I just can't accept that you two won't end up together! You belong to each other and everyone has seen how much you love each other. Eliot is an asshole. Trust me, I know that. But he loves you! Don't give up with him."

"It's just so hard at the moment."

"I know, but it's gonna be okay, Q," she said gently, standing to hug him. But before she could get to him, he lost his balance and hit with himself on the ground. He was lucky not to slam his head on the table.

"Quentin!" Margo cried out, kneeling to the ground. "Quentin, talk to me!" she shouted, but it was useless because he lost consciousness.

***

_"Fuck you, this is your fault!" He heard Margo cry. Margo cried? That must have been serious. He wanted to hug her, but then he realized he couldn't move. Oh no, something was wrong. Something was wrong with him._

_"Do you think I don't know that?! You don't have to put it in my face!" Oh, that was Eliot. Eliot was here. Margo was here. And he couldn't move or even open his eyes. Fuck._

_"I always wanted you to be together, but if it means that Q ends up in a hospital unconscious, then he may be right. You must decide. Either you stay here and you never leave him again, never understand? Or you're going to leave now and let him move on."_

_Quentin panicked. What if he leaves? There was silence for a moment, and then someone took his hand. Eliot. He would know it anytime._

_And then it was just black._

 

Quentin remembered how he was going to pepare coffee. Then nothing. Why did he hurt his head so badly? Oh, wait. Besides headaches, he felt something else. Something ticked his hand. He spent his all the strength he had found, and slowly opened one eye.

"Light," he rasped as he had to close the eye under the light. He waited a moment, then slowly opened the other eye. He had to get used to it for a moment, but when the light stopped bothering him, he opened both eyes and finally looked at what - or rather who – tickled him on his hand. Eliot was asleep in his chair beside his bed with his head on the mattress. His hair fell on Quentin's hand, tickling him. With the hand Eliot did not hold, he ran into his hair, causing El to immediately wake up and give him a sleepy look of love. Quentin suddenly felt that the whole marriage proposal fiasco had never happened. 

"Don't do this again, understand?" Eliot spoke first. He kissed his palm and then Quentin noticed. A new ring settled on his left hand.

"What does it mean?" he asked, unable to look away from the ring he had bought with Margo.

"You left it in my apartment and I... I really want to marry you. Very much. I love you so much, Q. I hated myself the last days for what I did. It's all right. I am not afraid of our relationship, and I have already considered that we should marry, but then you were kneeling there and smiling and asking me if I  would become  your husband. I wanted to say yes! So much, I was going to say yes! But the panic happened and I don't know why, but trust me when I say I want to marry you. Will you marry me, Q?"

"If you're done running, yes. I'll marry you," he replied with a smile. Eliot smiled and leaned over to kiss him. Finally! The time he'd spent without him seemed like an eternity and he never wanted to experience it again.

"I promise I'll never run away from you again. I love you, Q," he whispered in the kiss.

"I love you too, El," he replied, deepening his kiss. He didn't understand how he could stand it without him.

"Really boys? I'll leave for five minutes and all of a sudden it's all like it was before? Don't get me wrong, I'm glad for it," Margo said with a smile as she returned with two cups of coffee.

"What can I say? I asked him to marry me," Eliot sneered, and Margo gasped with joy.

"Are you fucking kidding me? Congratulations! I'm so happy for you. Don't worry, I've been scheduled for everything since you started dating."

"What would we do without you, Bambi?"

"You'd be all fucked up. And you! Quentin Makepeace Coldwater, don't do this again! I was so scared!"

"I'm fine," he said, grabbing Eliot's hand, "I mean it this time."

 

 


End file.
